Andy’s Story

Experienced: Long Term Psychological Abuse

I got married at the age of 18 and believed our lives would be perfect. When my ex-partner got his way, he was wonderful. When he didn’t he would blame me whether it was my fault or not. If I got upset or challenged him, he would say I was weak and didn’t know what I was doing.

I started to find food I thought I had bought disappearing and he would say I was stupid. I would arrive at a pre-booked appointment at the hairdressers and find it was cancelled. I missed school evenings because the dates I was told were incorrect. I thought I was losing my memory or my sanity.

He used to try to exclude me when we attended gatherings, whispering to tell me to leave because I wasn’t welcome. If I got upset he would make it look like I had mental health issues and I was being oversensitive.

He eventually stopped me from seeing my friends and family, telling me that I only needed him in my life and they all thought I was stupid!

He started to tell me that I shouldn’t be in charge of finances. We met at uni, I was a full time student but worked too, where I could. He didn’t – and because he was an international student he said he couldn’t work or access any grants or benefits. But he would frequently take money from me. And made me feel guilty if I refused to buy him stuff – he even asked for designer gifts..

I eventually became too afraid to do anything or make any decisions because I knew they’d be wrong and I would be threatened. As a result of the constant insults from my ex-partner, I lost 3 stone and was diagnosed to a counsellor. With the support of my counsellor and family law solicitor, I have now got a Non-Molestation Order and Occupation Order against my ex-partner and I have started divorce proceedings..

SARAH'S ACTIONS

  • Called Freeva for Advice

  • Worked with a dedicated Freeva counsellor who advised her of her rights and helped her recognise that she was the victim of psychological abuse.

  • Appointed a family law solicitor

  • Now has a Non-Molestation Order and Occupation Order against her ex-partner

  • Has started divorce proceedings

  • Has, with Freeva's help put steps in place to ensure her safety

  • Has begun to believe in herself again and feel happier

CALL OUR HELPLINE FOR SUPPORT:

0808 802 0028

The Helpline is open Monday to Saturday 8am to 8pm and is free from all mobiles, landlines and payphones. It is also hidden on the telephone bill.

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